As if I wasn’t having a hard time with the children. I had already brought into the world. I am bringing another one into this world to suffer. An abortion was out of the question. I learned so much in the nine months from the time I found I was pregnant to when I had her to just yesterday. I was about five months when I found out I was having another baby. Had it been under different circumstances, I would have been good with having another baby. I wouldn’t be ecstatic, but I wouldn’t have been as stressed out. I choose to keep the baby but I couldn’t stop doing what I was doing. I hid the pregnancy as much as I could. You’d think he would support me by quitting with me. Or at least stop hitting me. Did he? No.
What’s worst, was when I was about seven months pregnant, he went to jail. To top it off, he hadn’t been paying the rent so I got an eviction notice. Now I am not only in the steets I’m also pregnant. I stood in the park with the rest of the things I did not sell, the first time and I hope the last time I felt abadononed. No one to turn to, no one to stand there with me, no one. I was was so tired, just tired. I finally went to stay with friends and for three days straight, I slept.
When I had her she was born healthy. This is how I know that prayers make miracles. I prayed everyday, noon, and night that she came out healthy. She had no reason to suffer with any disabilities because of my mistakes. Whole-heartedly I prayed for her to come out healthy. My prayers were definitely answered. She was healthy, no disabilities, no malformations, no complications during the delivery. I almost miscarried twice but the power of prayer. She is now about to be six, still healthy, still no disabilities, still strong and still here.
We were moved out of the delivery room, about twelve hours after she was born, they tell me that I have a red flag in the system, from cps for having an open case for my other two children. The social worker walks into my room and has a seat to the side of me. She sits there for a minute but doesn’t say anything. I thought she was observing me since I had just fed my daughter and now I was changing her diaper. She finally says to me that she didn’t know what to do with me. I don’t remember if I felt stupid or offended because I gave a bad attitude, what the fuck does she mean. She tells me that the mother is usually in the ICU or she leaves. Now I’m just offended and mad. What the fuck? Well as you can see I am not going any where. I tell her to call the social worker on my ass, I mean handling my case, maybe he knows what to do. She gets all excited and jumps out of the chair to go make her phone call.
She walks back into the room about 45 min. later. She tells me that he is in his way. Then she looks at me all confused and tells me that he is picking her up, why would he do that, he doesn’t have a right to do that. She tells me she is going to talk to the staff. I was stuck on what she said about not being able to take her. As she wandered off mumbling something. I get in my phone and my phone is blowing up. My mother, my sisters, my cousins, my aunt’s they all want to know what they need to do to get my baby. I block calls coming in. I need to find out what can stop him from taking her. About 20 minutes before the social worker shows up, I had the answer. I have time for a quick shower.
Right on time. They arrived as soon as got out of the shower. I sit down and let him talk. I asked him what was the plan. He tells me my brother doesn’t want her. He tells me my parents are too old for them to take her in. He tells me, “Besides we have a foster family for her.” I snapped. You do? I need names, numbers, addresses, work information of this family. He tells me to calm down . I tell him I will. I tell him he wasn’t going to fuck me over like he did with my other two children. You don’t have a court date set up so let me tell you that my mother and/or my brother are going to pick her up. I show him the wrist band for me to be able to go in and out of the nursery. The other social worker gets up and as he opens the doors they slam against the wall. I look at the worker and ask “What’s wrong with him?” With a big smile on my face.
He looks at me, tells me that he just sat in traffic for two hours, as if that comment was going to change my mind. Oh, ok because you say in the car….. Well prepare yourself to do it again WITHOUT my daughter. They weren’t there for more than 45 minutes. And guess what? My brother AND my mother went to pick her up!
Since I was able to visit her in the nursery, I was sitting in the nursery where all action is because all babies go there. I was holding her after she finished her bottle she was sleeping and I was just watching her. Whenever a baby cried she’d make a face like she was going to cry too. But she wouldn’t. She would just make a face and keep sleeping. For every cry she made a different face. It was like she was feeling the babies cries. When my brother showed up with my mother. He had the paperwork in his hand and his phone in the other. And he was snapping pictures. I tell him that she’s not a model. No she looks better than a model. She was so beautiful then and she even more beautiful now.
Can we create what God did? 