By the end of 2011, I didn’t know what to do with myself. My son was constantly getting in trouble and I had just gotten a job with the Department of Human Services but with my son constantly having the school me in for a meeting. I didn’t know what to do. So the first decision I made under difficult circumstances is one I will never forget because I will always regret. I moved someone in who was supper to make things easier for me. Instead he made everything easy for himself. He would always tell me “No ill intentions” and I’d get so mad at him. Not until about 3 years later did I find out why. Ever heard the saying, “No ill intentions lead the road to hell” ? That’s exactly where I went. It means their intention wasn’t for it to go bad but it did anyway and not a sincere sorry. Let me tell about that. Years before I got with him He had a nervous breakdown and He said it was like he was in a it of fire and He could hear hooves chasing him. I told him I had the same dream. He said he couldn’t find his way it. He doesn’t know how he did. I told him that in my dream, I looked up and I could see the sky. That meant I could climb out of there. He didn’t see the sky. Anyway. Now we are in 2012, and my son is out of control at school. I’m trying not to lose it myself. Then one day as my daughter stayed home from school she’s talking to me abour school and her friends and I asked her about a personal matter. She starts crying and just poured her heart out to me. She told me that….. I’ll just say she was being bullied which threw me over the edge only this time I have to have full control of the situation, and of course myself lest I end up in jail. I asked my boyfriend to take her to pick up my son and take them to a wonderful program they have for children of parents who have been encarcerated. While he did that, I go to the school which is only 3 blocks away and storm into the principals office without checking with the secretary. I asked her hoping she wouldn’t agree to how harsh my daughter explained to me of how she felt because of this. The moment I asked she got accused my daughter of being truant. O I knew it was on. Not that I thought my daughter was lying, I just didn’t want it to be turned on my daughter by trying to make her look like a liar. I got in her face and I told her. “You fix this and you fix this now!” As I opened the door, not wanting to, it slammed against the wall. When I got home my boyfriend knew something ws wrong especially after I had just demanded him instead of ask him to do what he had just done. I broke down into tears. And He tells me, well do what you do best and fight for them babies. Your babies. And I did. I called the superintendent from our district and took out my call log. I already spoke to him two times before regarding my son. This is the third time for my son and the only time I will be calling regarding my daughter. When he didn’t seem to see anything wrong that he would talk to the school to investigate. No need. Best believe your boss and your bosses boss will be receiving an letter from me. Immediately i took out the school handbook, for on the schools website and shot out the first email. To the principal, the two teachers, and the school sychologist. At first they were giving me the run around with excuses and making up schedules to meet with me individually. No. I needed the meeting to involve all of you in the same room at the same time. I have them two days. Second email I shot. I have them 3 more days for the meeting to be set up before I have someone from the district invited to the meeting as well. The best day, I had a meeting to attend with all these ladies. I knew what I was going to ask who and who to ask what. When I walked in I made sure I could face each one in the face. And result. The principal is no longer the principal, the school psychologist no longer works there either. And the superintendent retired that summer. If he retired what he is doing playing principal at the same school that needed one. One morning. I can see me daughter was glowing. Joking I ask her if she had a boyfriend. She looks up at me and tells me thank mami because what ever you did. It worked. They no longer make fun of me and…… My job was done there. My son in the other hand.
It turns out that all of those meeting we were having were getting us no results. The reason why? The no tolerance policy. Did I mention my son will show you what he is feeling. So instead of facing the fact that they didn’t want to or didn’t know how it they are just stupid or plain mean. Whatever the reason, what they were doing was getting in him for the tolerance policy when they should have been getting at the other kids for bullying. And this is a lesson that good date still hurts deeply. But it was non the less a lesson that really was the hardest yet. ALWAYS HAVE YOU CHILDREN’S BACK NO MATTER WHAT. IF THEY LIE THEN TO DEAL WITH THAT LATER. BUT THEY DIDN’T LIE AND TO DID NOTHING FOR THEM, YOU ARE THAN LIKELY SCARRED THAT CHILD.It could be fixed but after the damage has been done the problem is just the beginning. I will admit that the second decision I made that, I don’t regret because of other people involved but I will never forget to tell it and not hurt me again. Even though I stopped him from getting in trouble his anger was now full on outrage. He never actually told me but then again I don’t think he understood to explain, that should have been my job. See to him it was like I tried telling you and you weren’t listening. You believed them and they got away with this long now fuck them and fuck you too. Not his words. His actions. I had tried my best to understand but with the school being dishonest and my distractions of everyday life you know cooking, cleaning, work, as gone, etc…. I didn’t take the right steps to correct it until it was too late. And as to why I had spoken to the superintendent before: the first time was to ask him if I should home school my son and the second time I suggested holding him back with a teacher he actually liked. They told me academically he is above average it’s just his behavior and homeschool was a good solution. And because holding him back would drop the school from the top of the list for being one of the top schools in San Francisco. So the third time would really catch their attention to bringing results for my son. He made to the fifth grade and he should be graduating soon. All of a sudden the school think it’s best to hold him back. You mean not let him graduate? I told my mom, my niece, and my brother, that unless they wanted me to go talk to him myself my son better graduate with his class. All of a sudden you want to hold him…… Look at the damaged we have caused him and now what you want to destroy him? My mom, my brother, and my niece went to talk to the principal. They told him that it wasn’t a good idea for me to go to the school again. Before she does we need to know what we have to do to make sure he graduates. Smart principal.
The moment their dad was deported they should have backed off of my children and had some sort of thought if nothing else of what they just been through. Instead they took their weakness to use to their advantage. For whatever reason some become victims others follow the crowd but those who take the weakness of others to make their weaknesses show less is not tolerated anywhere. If you you or any one you know is making you feel lesser than, making you look and feel ridiculous or you see it happen to someone else please say something do something act on it. Be a bully to the bully if you have to just stop them. It harmed to them but best believe I felt them. And I will never forget, imagine them.
One day as I was telling my boyfriend what I was going to say at the meeting and I was angry. Disregarding that my daughter was listening, she heard what I said but she turns and looks at me to say “But in nice way, Mami?” Like come on, Mom, here are trying to stop the bullying and you’re sounding mean so maybe you should be nice. Set an example. How sweet of her to, even after going through what she was going through enduring what these pitiful people were doing, she still knew that is wrong to be mean. Bless her heart.
If we don’t stand up for children, then we don’t stand for much.
~Marian Wright Edelman
Can we create what God did? 